Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
