I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
