pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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