i barfeds in our rink
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
