Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
there is puke in my bra ... again
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
