About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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