she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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