His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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