In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
