i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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