with your own penis?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
