why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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