My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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