Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
