Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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