Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
