Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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