i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
