WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm both gender and math confused
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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