also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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