come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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