Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
