Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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