i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
