dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize