HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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