I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
love makes seman taste better
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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