Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
