Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
