Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
