the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
