About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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