so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
