walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
