This is not my ceiling
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
