i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
