It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's the barista slut.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
