For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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