were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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