First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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