I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize