I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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