Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
