I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Actions speak louder than pants.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
