It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
