worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
