So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
