I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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