I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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