If that was your dad, he is hot
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
