she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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