pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You've changed since you got that strap on
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