And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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