By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Terrible idea I love it
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