We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize