you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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