rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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