I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
