And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
