Someone shit on the floor
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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