She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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