Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
