i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wear drunk well.
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