At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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