where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
