this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
