you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
