I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
