We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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