Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
