so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
