hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
