I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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