So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
