I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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